A wedding card is harder than a birthday card for three reasons that have nothing to do with writing ability.
You are writing to two people, and you usually know one of them far better than the other. It rides along with the envelope, so it is not carrying the gift — it is carrying the only part of the gift that is in your voice. And it is read in a pile, days later, often by both of them at once, which is not how a birthday card is read at all.
The structure
Four lines, and only the second is difficult.
| Line | Job | Example |
|---|---|---|
| 1 | Congratulate, plainly | Congratulations to you both. |
| 2 | One specific thing | Anjali, I still think about you rehearsing that speech in the car. |
| 3 | A wish for the two of them | Wishing you a long and unglamorous amount of ordinary happiness. |
| 4 | Sign off, and say who you are | With love, Rhea (from the Pune office) |
Line four is not optional at an Indian wedding. Two hundred cards arrive, half of them signed with a first name, and the couple genuinely cannot place everybody. Adding four words of context is a kindness, not a lack of confidence.
Line two, when you barely know one of them
The commonest situation, and the one people write around by going vague.
Do not try to address both equally. Write the specific line about the person you know, and the wish to the couple. That is honest, it reads warmly, and it is far better than a sentence engineered to sound as if you know them both the same amount.
If you know neither — a plus-one, a colleague of a parent — say so lightly and be brief. We have not met, but Vikram has talked about you for two years is a real sentence.
What to skip
Marriage advice. The convention exists and it is worth resisting. Advice from a guest is addressed to a marriage that has not started yet, and it lands as either a platitude or a warning.
Jokes about freedom ending. Ball and chain, last days of liberty, good luck mate. These were tired a generation ago and they are read by both people.
Anything about children. Not yours to raise, and you do not know the situation.
The word “journey”, and most of the phrases that arrive with it. Generic phrases worth avoiding
By relationship, in one line each
Close friend of one of them. Be specific and slightly emotional. This is the card they will actually reread.
Colleague. Warm, short, and sign with your full name and where you know them from.
Family, older generation. Formality is expected and is not cold. A blessing rather than a joke.
Both families, from a couple. Sign from both of you, and put the name of the person who knows them first.
The card and the envelope are doing different jobs
At most Indian weddings the card is attached to shagun. That has a practical consequence worth knowing: the envelope is what gets recorded, and the card is what gets kept.
Families frequently keep a written record of who gave what, and the card is how they identify you. It is also the only part anyone will read twice. So the money is the gift and the card is the message — do not let the card become a receipt with a signature on it.
If you would like the amount not to be the thing they remember, the card is where that happens. Regional wedding traditions and the amounts
If you are writing inside a gift rather than on a card
Different job, more room, and it should be less formal rather than more. What to write on the first page · Captions for a wedding book
Frequently asked
What should I write in a wedding card in India? Congratulate them, say one specific thing about the person you know, offer a wish for the two of them, and sign with enough context that they can place you.
What should I not write in a wedding card? Marriage advice, jokes about freedom ending, anything about children, and anything you would not say to both of them.
How long should a wedding card message be? Three or four lines. It is read in a pile of two hundred, and length is not what makes one stand out.
What do I write if I only know one of the couple? Write the specific line about the person you know and address the wish to both. Do not manufacture familiarity with the other.
Should I sign with my full name? Yes, and add where you know them from. Half the cards at an Indian wedding are signed with a first name the couple cannot place.
Part of our guide to writing captions. See also: what to write in an anniversary card · what to write in a birthday card.
When the card is not enough: Personalised wedding gifts · Photo magazines from ₹499